Student Confessions on Anti-Racism: Nova
As I reflect on the end of Student Confessions - the interview series where graduates of my course - Becoming Anti-Racist with Nova Reid share the challenges and triumphs of their anti-racism journey - I wanted to take the mic and share more about my experience over the past 7 years, my challenges and triumphs and what I’ve learned. So I asked Angela - if she would do one last interview - and interview me - of course, she said yes!
Interviewer Angela - What made you decide to curate your Course and put it out there in the world? How did you piece it all together and did you know it would work?
I think the wiser part of myself – which is often not the loudest – knew that it would work. And the more insecure part of myself was not sure, but I did it because it made sense to me to do it.
At that time I was delivering a lot of what I would have been called ‘Race Inclusion’ workshops. They were almost a case study for me because I was seeing the way people were responding to dialogues around race in real time, which gave me lots of information and stimuli about how to interact with that, how to hold it, how to circumnavigate it. So I already had experience working with people around inclusion, but whenever I brought race into the conversation I saw people shutting down, arms folded, tears, disengagement – sometimes their phones would come out and people would be scrolling – or more extreme levels were when people walked out of the room.
For the most part people stayed, but you could see there was such discomfort whenever I brought race into the room. That just wasn’t present when I was talking about gender, or disability, or queerness. Even when I was talking about trans issues there was more dis-ease, but that wasn’t what was happening with race. The discomfort around race was off the Richter scale.
So I already had that bank of experience and was doing that work, but I was recognising that I couldn’t be everywhere all the time. It wasn’t making sense. And it was taking its toll on me. So I thought, ‘How can I get this work to more people in a way that also protects me?’ People always wanted me “live” – which I can understand, but it was taking a toll on me.
So I had the idea – at that time, way before 2018 – when I was doing videos anyway, I used video communication, Instagram (I can’t remember if Instagram lives existed then) – and I thought, ‘How can I make the work go further without me over-extending myself? How can I protect myself?’ And I thought about the videos.
That was the idea. I pieced it together with research I’d already done, with workshops I’d already been doing, with stimuli and data that I’d already gathered from these Inclusion Workshops I was doing and pulled it together thinking, ‘This needs to go in here. That needs to go in here. We need to have a piece on Shame. These are the barriers I’m seeing around this.’ etc.
It made sense to me. Because, obviously, I’ve learned how to circumnavigate whiteness for most of my life. So it was about how I put it all down in a challenging and accessible format. And videos were the way forward.
Interviewer - The next question is fuelled by how I felt as I did your Course. I was so – I can’t even think of the right words – impressed, heartfelt, struck – by your generosity, your wisdom, your thoughtfulness, your love. The way you never shame and you never blame. But racism is such an atrocity and you knew you were speaking to – probably – a majority of people like me, white people, so how did you manage to stay so compassionate, so kind, so thoughtful, so wise, so knowledgeable (you even give us the Self-Care module)?
You’ve said, in your first answer, the way you got there, the way you designed the Course and decided to deliver it, but how did you emotionally manage to do it? And if that’s too much to answer, please don’t answer.
Thank you for offering that reflection to me. It’s nourishing for me to receive that.
The quick answer is that all of the things you mention are part of who I am as a human being. But the key part, which I didn’t mention earlier, is that my professional background is in mental health. I was taught very early on in my training how harmful it is to shame people.
If someone comes into your therapy room for support, the hardest thing – apart from recognising you need support – is to action by asking for help. When someone actually comes to see you and maybe they’re sharing their darkest, most horrific things and you shame them, the consequences of that can be catastrophic. And that was made very clear to me in the early days when I did my introductory counselling skills, and it’s stayed with me. And I also remembered what it feels like when I am intentionally shamed.
For some people shame might jolt a degree of action on a short-term basis, but not from a foundation of sustainability, not from a foundation of transformation, not a healthy foundation, so it doesn’t make sense to me and it’s not how I move through the world.
There’s a clear difference between people feeling shame as a result of me being radically honest about the realities of dealing with racism and white supremacy from white folk – people will feel shame from that and they’ll sometimes conflate that with being shamed. But the difference between me actively shaming someone and saying, ‘You are a disgusting human being and you should burn in hell,’ and ‘This is what you did. This hurt me. This is harmful to me. This isn’t okay,’ and feeling shame as a consequence of having that reflected back – there’s a big difference.
The way I approach this work is that I believe racism is a public health issue. And I understand trauma. I understand that highly-traumatised people can go on to hurt other people. I’ve seen the research. I understand the quote, ‘Hurt people hurt people’. So it makes no sense for me to perpetuate more violence in the world. It’s so out of integrity.
And it doesn’t mean that I don’t get vex and I don’t get despairing and hurt and angry and frustrated and fed up with all of it. But I have my people that I will go to who can hold space for me and who can hold space for my anger and who are a safe space for me. So I’m not blowing my hurt or my rage through other people and causing more harm.
That’s an important factor for me, because I’m not a robot. This work is going to impact me. But understanding the human condition and the human experience is always very interesting to me. I’ve always been curious by nature. My Mum used to call me nosy, but I’ve reframed that. I’m curious. I like to understand how things work, how we are.
So I wondered, ‘How did we get here? How did the dehumanisation happen? How did the legacy of anti-Blackness and the crimes against humanity that followed continue for so many hundreds of years? What were people doing? How did this impact Black people? How did this impact others? What were the majority of white folk doing?’
Because we’re not designed to inflict that kind of trauma and harm on each other. So I thought, ‘What the fuck was going on? Where was the dissonance?’ And I try and find out, to help me understand it and then it’s like a puzzle and then I know I need to use this piece and this piece and this piece.
Interviewer - It felt to me, as I went through your Course, that you absolutely understood a white woman like me and that was hugely impressive because I, to my shame, absolutely did not understand a Black woman like you. So it was very very effective on so many levels: affective and effective.
We have had to understand you – a collective white you – in order to survive racism.
Interviewer - And that’s one of the many many things that became so clear to me as I went through the Course and I cannot thank you enough for putting your Course out there and for everything I’ve discovered along the way. A big big thank you.
What gave you the faith – in any sense that you wish to take faith – that people, perhaps especially white people like me, would sign up for your Course and, as graduates, that we’d keep listening, keep leaning in, keep unlearning our racism, keep doing whatever we can that we had not done before?
I just had to try. And I couldn’t spread myself so thinly – as I’ve just said. It was having an impact on me physically and mentally. So I had to try something else. It was more about finding a way to take care of myself. That was number one. And the second thing was, ‘How do I reduce harm? How do I reduce racism so that Black folk and other people who are exposed to racism and are harmed by racism are less harmed by it?’ It was more about that. And if I can reduce harm by even ten people doing the Course and all the circles of influence and the people that they’re connected to, then that’s enough. I needed to try.
I didn’t even think about graduates actually. They weren’t on my mind, then.
Interviewer - What are your reflections on the Course now, and are they different now than they were when the Course launched in – I think – 2020?
People assume it launched in 2020. But it actually launched in 2018.
Interviewer - Ah. I’m sorry. I made a not-at-all-thoughtful connection between the murder of George Floyd and the launch of your Course. So, it launched in 2018.
Yes.
Interviewer - So what are your reflections on your Course now and are they different? Have they changed over the years?
One of the things I observed when I used to do workshops on Race Inclusion was that most people who were going to them were going for their businesses. But because I bring the human into it, and because I bring children into it, what I noticed was that it was the white women in the room who were really impacted whenever I spoke about the impact of racism on children. There was an appetite from people who either were parents or wanting to become parents, who wanted to raise socially conscious children.
Before I did the Course I did pop-up online workshops which informed the section in the Course on raising the next generation: that was a key driver and motivator for people to do the Course. Rather than thinking, ‘I want to unlearn my racism’, people were thinking, ‘I want to raise socially conscious children’. In the early days of the Course that would have been the motivator and the key demographic of people joining the Course.
And then we had George Floyd’s murder and I saw a 600% increase in traffic to my website – which was diabolical, to the point that my website was crashing. The previous platform I had couldn’t cope with the volume.
When I started the Course it was very basic. It was me in my kitchen with my iPhone with slides and audio files. The content was of a quality that I was happy with, but I didn’t have the budget for the visuals. But when George Floyd was murdered there was a frustrating and deeply painful awakening from white people who’d been following my work for ages and doing fuck-all about it – I was so angry in that season at what it took to motivate a majority to engage.
In that season there were some who had been in my ecosystem for a while and were procrastinating and that was what pushed them over the edge and they continued with it. And there was another group of people who didn’t know me or my work and were panicking and thinking, ‘Oh my God, this is uncomfortable. What can I do?’ They booked the Course. Some of those people who signed on never engaged with the content ever. Some of those people made very little progress. And some had transformations and remain engaged. But the demographic of people changed in that season. So I was seeing more people from the wellness world; more people who worked for organisations who were paying for them to take part in the Course; more business-owners. But parents were always there – that’s a continuum. But I was seeing more professionals: therapists, educational psychologists, teachers, CEOs of organisations etc.
I was grateful that that season boosted the visibility of the Course and was attracting people who have influence to make some really serious changes in the workplace and in the world around them including criminal justice, domestic violence and healthcare settings.
Interviewer - You’ve partly covered this, but what have been the challenges of the Course and curating it and the way it’s gone over the years? And what have been the triumphs?
Pre-George Floyd’s murder - people who came, came organically: they were ready and willing to engage with the content. And that makes a difference, versus those who were being made to do the Course by an organisation or felt that they needed to do the Course to alleviate whatever guilt they were feeling from seeing a Black man lynched on their screens. That created a false community. And you can’t police that. It’s very difficult for me, with people on a self-directed course, to keep a check on who’s going through the doors. Some people were not genuine. Some stole my content. Some lied and told their followers on social media they did the course - and never logged in.
So that was a challenge, and it also really messed around with my statistics.
Other challenges are that, around that season, I used to allow people to pay by instalments. They had full access to the Course but they would not pay the rest of their instalments. So I was dealing with extraction, and all the ways white supremacy shows up, in the midst of that horrific summer. That was a challenge. I had to work with some tech people to help me circumnavigate that, but of course, that costs money.
Another challenge was copying. It’s very easy to see what my Course entails and what’s included in it. But my Course has been copied: copyright infringement has been a huge issue, and that was magnified and intensified in 2020 and 2021 because of the climate we were in and people saw, at that point, that Blackness was trendy. And others saw an opportunity to capitalise on that- one lifted my content and set up their own business. Others have lifted my content and passed it off as their own in their books. It’s rancid.
So those are just some of the business challenges.
Another challenge – and it’s still a challenge – is that people want me “live”. So being able to communicate with people that there is still value in getting me through the Course: they’re still getting me and my content, the way I piece it together and the way I hold them through that process. Convincing people that there’s a huge amount of value there whether you get me “live” or not.
Then when my book, The Good Ally, came out in 2021, that was an unexpected challenge because people now had the opportunity to buy an £8.99 product and they think the book and the Course are the same thing. So when there’s an £8.99 product versus one that’s £1k plus, people weren’t recognising that they complement one another nor that, in a great analogy someone gave me, ‘People were expecting to get a law degree from reading a book’. But you can’t. You’ve got to do the live training. You’ve got to do the taught content.
Interviewer - And triumphs?
You don’t always hear feedback on the impact the work is having. But when I do hear it and when it’s being given by people who are embodying the work, and staying with the work and consistently being with the work, it’s heartwarming.
One of the first people to graduate from my Course was a senior school teacher, a white woman who was partnered with a Black man. She shared with me the impact it was having on her ability to support and safeguard her students and to give them agency in holding boundaries if a racist incident happened that she had perpetuated; as well as how it had transformed the relationship with her Black partner.
And more recently, educational psychologists who’ve taken the work and are working with white, non-Black, majority educational psychologists so that they’re more empowered to handle race in the work they’re doing, and sharing that experience with educational psychologists across the UK in multiple counties. And those educational psychologists are located in various schools so there’s the impact that that has on the people they’re supporting.
My work is regularly used to support human rights lawyers - and is used in Criminal Justice Wales – a group of lawyers who are ensuring that there’s anti-racist practice and that they’re not perpetuating violence within criminal justice. And people who share that they’re working intentionally to break patterns and cycles of harm when they’re taking care of children.
It’s also being used in the NHS and in places I don’t even know about.
It sometimes doesn’t feel like enough because of how enormous white supremacy is. But there have been some really beautiful triumphs.
Interviewer - What are your reflections on your white anti-racism Course graduates as they navigate anti-racism work after your Course?
The ones that have taken initiatives to form accountability groups, to form communities with other students who’ve been on my Course, to stay in community with one another, share with one another the things that are happening in current affairs and dialoguing with one another about how they’re responding to that; sharing about experiences of when their own racism is showing up, or when it’s showing up in community or in their families and they’re struggling with how to work through it and being witnessed in that; continuing to work through what they’ve learned through me - together – they’re the ones whose work has been the most transformative and the most sustained because they’re taking responsibility for it and they are also not doing it alone.
That’s something I say: this work has to be done alone, because it’s your journey. But also together. It can’t be one or the other. Because it’s very easy to do the Course – especially if you’re the first in your friendship group or in your family to do the Course – the isolation, the pull to go back to the status quo because it’s comfortable, it’s what you’re used to, you’re more likable there, than deal with challenge and being told that you’re a problem and you’re bringing everything down – it’s really easy to go back to the status quo if you don’t have a community of other people journeying alongside you.
That’s a key reflection.
Interviewer - What are your reflections on your Black and People of Colour anti-racism Course graduates as they navigate anti-racism work after your Course?
It’s obviously a smaller number. But the people who are not white and choose to do the Course are often doing it either because they want to understand more about their own anti-Blackness – particularly if they’re a person of Colour from a non-Black community – and how not to perpetuate that. They want to understand the racism they too have internalised.
And it’s been empowering for them to understand microagressions and how race works: that it’s a social construct and to not internalise some of that as defectiveness, that’s been really useful to hear how it’s helping them feel more confident. And also to be empowered by the fact that they’ve got data, knowledge, history, books they can recommend and say, ‘Hey. This is not okay. This is what I’ve learned. Come and learn with me.’ It’s empowered them to have conversations within their families and it’s helped them understand that the anti-Black narratives that they’re perpetuating are actually from white supremacy, and from the same control, domination and persecution that they’ve experienced in their own way.
Hearing that and also from those who are People of Colour who are also in relationship with white people – how that helps them. Two things happen: and this isn’t only applicable to People of Colour and Black people, but also to white folk. Their relationship either deepens or they realise they can’t be in relationship any more. They say, ‘This is what’s important to me and we need to work through this. But if we can’t work through this we can’t be together.’
I’m sure there are some ex-partners who are not happy with me and my Course! But if you do it properly it’s transformative. I’ve had a number of people terminate relationships and others have come out as queer as a result of doing the Course as well. Because the work encourages honesty and looking at yourself.
Interviewer- What are your reflections as you read your anti-racism Course graduates Student Confessions?
They’re really insightful. Some of the stories are familiar to me and some not. I’ve really enjoyed reading them and have LOVED the honesty - even if the honesty has agitated me.
But it hasn’t always been triumphant as I can sniff performativity out a mile off. There have been some where I’ve gone back to the student and said, ‘I’ve just read your interview and it’s highlighting to me that you’re not continuing with the work.’ And we have a short dialogue about that where I say, ‘We can publish the interview and I can write an editor’s comment.’ Or, ‘Let’s have a dialogue about what happens next together.’ And so there’s been a decision to not publish some of them. And a call-in from me asking, ‘What are you doing? This isn’t it. Raise your standard.’
And there’s been others where I’ve seen that – as a result of doing my Course – they’ve taken on what I would describe as a teacher role. I’m conflicted by that. It’s not what I developed the Course for.
The impact of shame and reading about how my work on shame has really helped people beyond this work has been beautiful. Shame is a big one!
There are others where I really enjoy hearing about their journey. Hearing about the moments where things really dropped or changed for them. I loved yours, Angela. It was just so beautiful, the rapport you and Denise had came through on the page in terms of how you were sharing about your experience as somebody who’s older and going through this process of change when so many write elders off, which really moved me.
Penny’s area of expertise is in equine and I really loved reading about how doing the Course is making her think about, ‘What’s the relationship with horses and white people historically, and to this day?’ and ‘What’s my role in how I move through this?’ I really enjoyed hearing about her reflections on status and white folk being on top of horses and the relationship with Black people and Indigenous people on horses, and other things.
Martin and how he was called to the work to through becoming a father and not wanting to continue legacies of violence stayed with me.
Tanya'‘s perspective was refreshing. Finding ways to do this work and tackle anti-blackness and anti-human behaviour driven by colonial legacies even in a Black majority Kenya and trying to find her way with this.
Martha’s experience as someone mixed race, whose racial identity was hidden from her until recently and the ways in which she speaks about her experiences of colourism and racism from her mother. And working to reconcile the oppressor and the oppressed - the white and brown parts of herself. The strides she is taking with decolonising her work in psychology is also warming and necessary. Her self awareness and vulnerability was absolutely beautiful to witness.
Rachel, who is a history teacher, and the transformation that she’s gone on is really beautiful. The impact that she’s having on her students and the impact that they’re now having in their school – I went to visit them last year – has been absolutely astonishing. And that’s from one person deciding to do the Course and use their influence to impact change, rather than trying to control it.
Wether they were published or not, all of the interviews taught me something new.
Interviewer - It felt to me that she’s enabling the young Black people in her school to run the Anti-Racism Ambassadors group. It’s so heartwarming.
Very heartwarming.
Interviewer - She’s giving them a platform, she’s giving them a voice.
She’s giving them agency and that to me is so important. For people who’ve got lineage lost to slavery – for us to have agency over our needs and outcomes is so important. And I’m excited to see who they become as a consequence of the journey that she’s gone on and how she’s shared that journey with them and how she’s empowered them to go on their own journey.
Interviewer - The next question is about reading the Student Confessions – by the way I love the fact that you called them Student Confessions.
That was offered by a student. They came up with a load of titles and I said, ‘I really like that one.’ So I can’t claim that one. LOL
Interviewer - You’ve touched on this already, but have you any more reflections on white people teaching anti-racism?
How can you teach something that you’ve just woken up to in the last two, three, four years? You’re in your infancy. You’re not informed.
The way in which I was able to produce the content for the Course – or even the content within my book – the way I was able to think about all the other components including shame – is because of my lived experience which is over four decades, and also over a decade of expertise working in mental health, shame and trauma. So if someone else takes that and puts it in a bite-size pieces, it’s unethical, I’m uncomfortable with it and I find – we spoke about it with Rachel, there’s a great example of somebody who’s done the Course and is using the knowledge she’s learned in the Course and what she’s learned about herself, from her area of expertise to help give other people agency or to influence outcomes – there’s a big difference: that’s how I hope people will find their way. The other way means you’re at high risk of causing harm. And you’re already causing harm if you’re taking my content to teach without my consent.
Interviewer - But it also feels to me, listening to you, that a white person teaching anti-racism based on your Course is actually a form of avoidance of anti-racism work.
Yes. There’s an element of bypassing. And also it’s white supremacy.
It’s not their lived experience or area of expertise. It would be a bit like me teaching about trans issues when it’s not my lived experience. It’s inappropriate. Yes, I can be intersectional when I talk about my area of expertise and sign post. But not doing one course and then thinking that qualifies me to teach the subject.
That would be like me doing a course – a year’s study with somebody who’s a doctor – about physical health and then teaching people about –
Interviewer - Surgery?
Surgery. Yes. I’d be ill-informed, misinformed, not an expert. It’s not my area of expertise. If I want to train to be a surgeon let me do the adequate training, let me take my time. But I also think that’s a false equivalence because I don’t think there’s any amount of training that will qualify a white person to teach anti-racism.
Interviewer - We do not have the lived experience of racism, so how can we teach anti-racism?
I think it makes sense to speak about your experience of whiteness. How you’re navigating that and how you’re unpacking that. There’s space for that. But white people teaching anti-racism – that’s something else it makes me uncomfortable.
This is one of the ways in which white supremacy shows up as saviourism and as, ‘I need to get as many white people as possible on board.’ But how can you do that using your area of expertise and your knowledge and vulnerability around your experience, and your identity rather than taking my content and regurgitating it?
Interviewer - What has been the impact of the students who’ve taken your Course – at least that you’re aware of – that’s been moving for you, and why? (You’ve partly covered this.)
I have partly covered it. But, Rachel and her anti-racism student ambassadors: giving them agency and autonomy over their voice. They’re informing anti-racism policy in their school and it’s making a difference to how Black and Brown students in the school are treated and believed when racism is highlighted. It’s given them agency to be able to raise it. They’re bridging the gap between hierarchies. Because often what happens when racism occurs with a teacher in a school environment or academic environment is that nobody sends resources to support the student. They want to say, ‘Well that person didn’t mean it. Or maybe you misunderstood.’
But the grounding that you get in those years in education will transform how you show up in the world. So that’s very inspiring and exciting for me.
Hearing how the work is being used by people who are working in law and domestic abuse, how to better inform relationships with police or people who are first responders to Black women who are survivors of abuse; how to better safeguard us and to recognise that bruises don’t show up on Black skin. All of these simple things that are overlooked because the standard is always around whiteness.
Certain Trusts in the NHS are using my work as well. So I’m very moved by things that will make a real difference to reducing harm in institutions that often harm Black people.
Interviewer - And all of this learning and unlearning is instigated by you. It’s wonderful.
Is there anything else you’d like to say about your Course, about your students, maybe about where you see your Course going?
The Course has been around for nearly 7 years now and with me far longer - hundreds have gone through these virtual doors. There’s been incredible outcomes and experiences and the impact it’s having – the feedback I get from those who’ve completed the Course is overwhelmingly that a hundred per cent would recommend it, a hundred per cent are more confident as a result of doing the Course, a hundred per cent are making changes, the data is telling me that it is working – but sadly, not nearly enough people are engaging with it.
There’s been an extraordinary divestment from anti-racism and specifically, anything that centres Blackness since 2020. An extraordinary and very ugly divestment. And that goes beyond people who work in this space, DEI positions are being cut left right and centre, Black-owned businesses who’ve had to shut up shop - including incredible publications like gal dem. These are ways in which white supremacy shows up. These are the ways the status quo is maintained.
I’ve loved reading about the impact of the course through Student Confessions, in fact the idea was from Janelle’s and some of my other students that wanted more people need to know about the impact of the Course - it’s impact has been profound and I am very proud - but in that time I also realised - this chapter has ended for me - i’ve given so much of me, it’s time to move on, give myself the space do something else. Something more generative. I am excited!
Interviewer - It’s such a pity. A huge huge pity. And a terrible loss for everybody, of every colour. Because I know how much it’s changed me. And it keeps happening. It’s not a static thing.
That’s the thing. And that’s reminded me – in terms of reflections and people going through the Course and people who did the interviews – I noticed a clear difference between the students who’d done my Course more than once and those who haven’t. Because there’s also an expectation, we’ve been programmed, to say, ‘Let’s just get through it, tick the box and then that’s done. Put that to one side and move on to the next thing.’ When actually, no, you need to process. You need to integrate. You need to deepen your understanding. Adapt. Come back again and again. And when racism shows up again to unpack another layer.
So there was a clear difference in the interviews between those who recognised there’s continuous learning to be had in order to unlearn anti-racism and that work is your responsibility- not mine.
Interviewer - And it continues. I hear your voice in my head often – and I know others have said that. And I hear those four things: Listening, Unlearning, Relearning, before taking Responsive Action. And I was one of those disgraceful people who – with your book, The Good Ally, went straight to the chapter about action and advocacy.
You didn’t!
Interviewer - But what was so wonderful was – I blushed as I read it – you said, at the beginning of that chapter, ‘If you’ve found your way here without reading the rest of the book, I see you.’ And I thought, ‘Oh my God, Nova’s here. She can see me.’
You know us white people so well. But it was a mistress-stroke because I thought, ‘What am I doing? How dare I think I know what to do already?’ It’s appalling behaviour. But it’s stayed with me – and so many other things from your Course – because you know humanity so well and you’re streets ahead and I learnt a big lesson that day. Such a big lesson. I don’t know if anybody else has told you the same thing.
Not in that beautiful detail. Thank you.
But I danced for ages with my editor when I was writing The Good Ally about whether or not I would even include that chapter (Brokering Change: Action and Advocacy). Because I said, ‘People are going to want to go that chapter and skip the rest.’
But I decided it would be really helpful for people who’ve been through the book and I realised I can’t control what happens when the work is on the page and out in the world. Obviously it’s my work, but how people choose to interact with it I can’t control. So I had to surrender to that. But there was a dance between me and my editor about whether I would have that chapter in the book or not. I was going to take it all out.
Interviewer - Personally, I’m very glad you didn’t take it out and I’m very glad you began that chapter the way you began it. Because I learned so much from it, about myself and about how not to do anti-racism work.
And one of the reasons I understand all this is that I care deeply about human beings. I care about us. I’m very sensing, very empathetic, which means I can be at risk of taking on the world’s issues as my own. I feel everything. I have to be incredibly boundaried around the stuff that comes in because I feel everything.
So the reason I was able to anticipate some of those things that I put into the book and into the Course is because I also recognise myself in some of it. I’m not separate from it. It shows up similarly and very differently in me, as a Black woman. But I recognise the loopholes we use as human beings that bypass pain, the moves we make to bypass looking at the parts of ourselves that aren’t pretty, to avoid having tough conversations with people we love and that prevent our own healing because we want love and light and rainbows instead of truth.
But we’re dealing with white supremacy. That is not love, that is lovelessness. AND like Yin and Yang we have to look at all of it if we’re going to transcend it. Our humanity depends on it.
Thank you to each and every one of my students who were brave enough to take part in these interviews - published and unpublished. To those who cared enough to match actions with words and actually commit to do the work and complete the course. Thank you for trusting me. For choosing to return to it, even when it was hard. To work through burning shame to not only be able to stay in the work- but to transcend it. I’ve learned so much from you all and the work doesn’t end here - it expands.
A huge thank you to Denise and especially Angela for volunteering your time to conduct these interviews and for every student who has not just showed up for the work, but for me. And deep gratitude to those of you who continue to do your work with honesty and to bring people in on this journey of not just Becoming anti-racist - but becoming more human.
You rock.
Much love,
Nova x
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Books Referenced:
The Good Ally - Nova Reid